Dealing with a shopping addiction
Now, this is something I need to talk about. I am a shopaholic, yes, it is a thing, no I didn’t know it before and yes, I live with this great addiction.
The last months I’ve really been working hard on this part of myself BUT there were months that I had many spending breakdowns. About almost a year ago, your girl was spending way to much for many unecessary things, and life happened and many expenses came my way that I just couldn’t ignore (such as this fucking 464,03$ on my car in which I WAS TOTALLY FUCKING RIPPED OFF but anyways moving on), and then I went down to the point of – Sis, you already spent this much, what’s another 80$? Look, I did dig my own grave, but again moving on… This way of thinking just brought me on a Friday 4PM putting my credit card on 150$ worth of jewelry that would’ve been 300$ without the discounts, I then proceeded to tell myself I was not spending another penny UNLESS it was for food, hygienic items, OR this one amazing pair of Steve Madden I was looking at for months. It ended up with me buying 300$ worth of Sephora the next Saturday 4PM hihi (I did return 175$ of it because they were not restock, the rest was). Complete madness and weak moment on my behalf I’ll give it to you.
I’m sure you know that, but shopping does make me feel good on the short term, it makes me want to create and imagine, and oh does that coat looks good. But if there’s something I learned, is that always buying will only make you want more and feel like it’s never enough. You have to stop being materialistic and be grateful for the items you have, I mean what about this old shirt you thought was everything on the moment and which you’ve worn what once, twice? WHAT ABOUT IT?? You don’t need more clothes, you need to look at the new possibilities of the clothes you already have and that goes on for whatever you’re always finding yourself spending into. Before buying something that’s expensive or which you don’t really need, ask yourself, will you feel guilty afterwards?
For those who don’t understand, first of all, I wish I was you lol, second of all, shopping for me has always been a way to cope/ease my emotions short term talking. I remember one time I had this horrible shitty ass day, but then I put on my comfort clothes, got in my car, took the exit 42 and went to Winners. 😊 I don’t even remember what I bought, but just being there and looking at things was therapeutic for me, because I felt better after that. Sometimes, it is a good way to take your mind off of things, but it can’t ALWAYS be the excuse.
Let’s move on, did you know there are different types of shopping addicts? Let me tell you about them.
- Compulsive – Shopping when you are in emotional distress
As I said for me shopping can be a therapy. After saying that for the last two years, I read that « retail therapy » is a bad way for a shopaholic to excuse the fact he/she is shopping. Yep that’s me and this hurts my feelings lol.
- Trophy – Shopping for the perfect item.
Ehmm. When I buy gifts, I do act this way and I do act this way when I imagine something in my head that I can’t find anywhere. It literally is a sport for real.
- Big spender and flashy items – The image they want of them.
To be honest, I do not really experience this one, I do spend multiple amounts, sometimes big amounts, but I do not like this image of myself. However people who do, will need this thing to represent them completely instead of letting their own selves represent them.
- Bargain seekers – Buying things on sale.
Oh.. yeah. I do that. All the time. I mean knowing I am saving up buying said object is a perfect feeling for me. You will see me buy two candles at bath and body works just because they are on a « buy one get the other one at 16$ » sale (yes this sale happened last weekend, and yes this is where you could find me last Saturday). I will be proud of this purchase too. Please note that I also am really influenceable about this. Social media got me spending too much, but I mean, girl math.
If there’s a big red sticker on the price there is a big chance I will be at the cashier in the next 20 minutes. 😊
- Bulimic – Buying then returning kind of circle.
I do not have this problem because I buy, I feel anxious, and feel bad/guilty, but I keep to make me feel better, I use, I feel better, I go on another sopping spree. That’s my vicious circle.
Also, I’m socially anxious and I hate making a line because I want to return something, then the cash register doesn’t work or the tag is not ok and then the cashier needs to call a fucking manager to help her/him/they and then the manager says they can’t do it and then I just spent everybody’s time including mine. Also, I don’t have or take the time to go return things, I just deal with the guilt.
- Collectors – Having the same item in multiple colors.
Actually, I do this, but not in the way it’s said. See, I do not struggle with this anymore, but for a while I did buy multiple things of the same item. For example, I spent months buying sunglasses, they all have different shapes, colors, vibe, etc. But they are all sunglasses, and I now have too much of them and I only wear like what the same three I think. Lucky me that’s something I left behind, because it was getting expensive.
The causes
I read that these are some of the causes that lead to shopping addiction:
- Retail therapy when emotional distress (can come from problems like anxiety)
- Needing other’s approval
- Easily influenced
- Low self-esteem
- Lonely and isolated
- Being materialistic
Personally, I do not relate to each and every one of these causes, but I do recognize myself in some of them. This is definitely something I worked on and now experience less than before. Once you’re aware you have this tendency, it’ll be fucking easier to be better and to grow on this.
Help yourself
- Therapy
If you have a psy, you can talk to this individual about it, they will give you amazing tips on how to stop doing this.
- HIDE THE MOTHERFUCKING CREDIT CARD. HIDE IT.
Putting mine away as we speak.
- Try to compromise with yourself.
This time I’ll buy two t-shirts instead of four, If I spend this amount today, the next time I’ll be able to spend for unnecessary stuff will be in a week.
You can’t tell yourself to completely stop buying things if you are an addict, because you’ll last 8 days and then spend a big ass amount on things you don’t « need ». Trust me, I’ve been there.
- Read books about it.
Buy one book, you buy another one only once this one is finished. Getting to know your circumstances will only help you, and you’re also enriching your brain and letting yourself know more about a subject you may not have thought of reading before.
Note that while you’re reading you’re not spending.
- Do not shop with another shopaholic.
I REPEAT. Do. Not. Shop. With. Another. Shopaholic. You both will hype each other up and get out of the mall with 5 bags and 1,000$ out of your bank accounts.
- The week test
Try the week test. If you’re shopping and you find something attractive but you’re not sure if you should spend on it, then don’t. Go home, and give it a week, if after a week you still think about it, go right ahead and buy it (of course if you have 2000$ in your bank account and you want 2000$ Prada sunglasses, maybe give it more then a week, maybe buy fake ones on Amazon lol), but if you forgot about it, then it means you weren’t falling for it that much.
We have to treat ourselves, but we have to do it reasonably and responsibly because spending too much and unreasonably will only harm you in the futur. I am with you queens, but on that note I’m going to go light up this new fall candle.
Babye, love you guys.
Mwah
