Are we sustaining things that only bring us chaos? Or should I say people? Hell, are we putting the gasoline in the fire ourselves? Sometimes I think we are, conscious or not, hesitant or not. Why do we though? I guess the reasons are different for everyone, but the solution usually looks the same; cut the fuck off what isn’t healthy or fulfilling for you. Let’s not keep because of memories anymore, that’s the opposite of choosing yourself.
Keeping people in because of the past
That’s basically holding on to the past. Or we could say, that’s you not wanting to turn a page or let go of a whole book and let a new one enter your life. I have a theory that, people that align completely with who you are don’t come into your life until you let go some of the people that don’t align anymore.
You know how you grow and change every year? Well now maybe is the time to realize you have not been aligned with someone in a very long time because of that change you both went through, and that’s completely okay! You just need to know when to cut the bridge, let things fall into the water and disperse.
It’s not easy though, and I completely get it. It’s like you used to have so much fun, and they brought you so much joy at a time in your life, yet now it’s not the same anymore, and it drains you more than it fulfills you. It’s like you want to prove to them you love them and feel the need to tell them kind of in order to convince yourself I guess. When that happens, I think that’s when the clock is ringing.
Why letting go though?
It never has to end on bad terms, many relationships/friendships drift away, but if you outgrow them and keep them into your life, it’s like trying to fit in old jeans after years of not wearing them and your body changing, it’s like putting back an egg into its shell, it’s forcing something that isn’t meant to be together, anymore. Why would you put yourself through that? I ask it yet I really get the why. Seriously though, it’s not healthy especially if you think about it a lot, it’s taking up your time and putting you through something draining. Now you’re losing time and energy. Which is why you need to learn to let go. If something’s meant to be, it’ll be, don’t you worry about that. You might drift away with someone, but you also might meet again in a few years. However, for now you may be better off without some people.
Outgrowing
Outgrowing is something the internet speaks about more than before, I didn’t even know it was a thing a few years back LOL. It’s not just a trend though, it’s real and it doesn’t mean it’s because someone’s not mature enough, or did something bad, it can simply be just two people growing apart towards different values, hobbies, passions, ways to think, ways to be, etc. I just feel like we easily think outgrowing means one of the two parties wasn’t mature enough anymore when it can simply be two people that grew and aren’t compatible anymore – through friendships or any other kind of relationship.
What’s a keep?
🤍 Someone you laugh with till you piss yourself
🤍 Someone you trust with your business, whom you don’t need to say ‘’Keep that between us please’’ because you already know they will
🤍 Someone that shows up continuously and takes time for you
🤍 Someone that values your friendship (or simply values you)
🤍 Someone you want to call when good news happen
🤍 Someone you want to call when bad news happen
🤍 Someone that makes you glow in your friendship/relationship whatsoever
🤍 Someone that 100% make you feel like your true self – even though your true self has changed in the last few years
🤍 Someone that lifts, hypes you up – your biggest fucking fan
🤍 Someone that will listen and debrief over and over a situation with you
What’s a bye-bye?
🤎 Someone that makes you think about letting them go
🤎 Someone that brings you down
🤎 Someone that is never there for you, only there when they need something
🤎 Someone that makes you feel like you have to prove yourself
🤎 Someone that talks to you like shit or disrespects you
🤎 Someone that can never make time for you
🤎 Someone with whom you feel like trying to be someone else
🤎 Someone that treats you like you don’t matter to them
Took the brown hearts for this list to identify each shit aspect that needs to be out the door.
You can keep whomever and whoever in your life, but sometimes, a wind of change will take out what you can’t take out yourself. It’s important to respect yourself enough to let go of people that treat you poorly. It’s not easy especially if there’s a lot of memories attached to the relationship, but you can’t really keep people only on behalf of your past fun. Like I said, it’s not a bad thing to outgrow or part ways with other people, it only means you’re letting space in for new people, or for another chapter of your life. If you think about yourself last in these kinds of situations, people might too and that won’t bring you any good. Put yourself first and identify who brings you actual joy and who drains your energy.
Sometimes, it’s not a goodbye, just a see you later.
Although sometimes it’s a get-the-fuck-out-and-never-come-back. 🙂
Mwah
