I remember being asked what I wanted to do later in life, either at the beginning of school when you had to present yourself and tell everybody your name, what you did this summer and what you want to do for the rest of your life, or at the end of it when you had to choose next year’s classes or even in the middle when you had a suck up project on your DrEaM jOb. I find it exhausting.
Why I think it’s ridiculous
Asking a literal child, the biggest decision they’ll ever make is INSAAANE. Let me tell you why.
The people that know from a young age what they want to do either do it and love it or work their whole childhood to get it and when they do they’re disappointed, now the plan didn’t work and they’re going through an existential crisis. Tell me I’m wrong. Those people, in my opinion, already knew what they wanted to do either because they wanted to follow in their parents’ footsteps or because they experienced something that made them want to do this specific work. ORRRR and hear me out here, they are a fucking wizard or clairvoyant. If so, give me a call please I have a few questions LOL.
Anyways, it’s no surprise I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Although, it’s no surprise the majority of people don’t because, how would we? How the fuck, can I know if I like to take care of animals, or if I like to sell things or if I’m into advanced mathematics (ok I feel like that one’s pretty obvious)?? How can I know what I specifically want to do that’s going to sustain me for years, if I haven’t tried it?
My worst nightmare: Guidance counsellors
I KNOW OK, they’re here to help you out, but fuck I NEVER liked going there. It’s like you’re walking into a place that’s not joyful at all, trying to chose what path you’ll take and standing in front of you is someone judging you and trying to understand what you’re good at when in fact, you don’t even know your talents yourself. Maybe they weren’t judging but I always felt like they would kick my bubble and make reality feel like a fucking nightmare. Guidance counsellors never tell you to follow your dreams yet they’ll ask you what you’re good at. I felt limited as fuck going in there and my mom told me so many times to go again and I – I don’t know it didn’t feel right to me. I mean if I said I was good at something they’d answer with ‘’Yea, but that’s a very difficult field’’ fuck if I care Nancy, don’t you think I could do it?? Hated this more than the fact that I didn’t know what to do.
Knowing who the authentic you is
You know something I’ve been thinking about for a fucking while?? Self-love classes. Not in a bubbly romanticized way. In a way where we help teenagers learn who the fuck they are, and start loving their true selves.
I didn’t know selflove was that important until I had none left. That’s when the real work began, but it should’ve begun years ago. High School is like, THE worst place for selflove, because you’re taught to be this and that, to not wear this or that, that she’s prettier because of x and x features, etc. Not to talk about the fact that the separation of people between popular & non-popular for x and x reason is a killer in confidence. Also, kids are mean little shits. They can be so cruel Jesus.
Now you tell me, how can someone start loving themselves in this kind of environment?? Now, not knowing & loving themselves, how can they be able to tell what workplace they want to be in for the next 40 years or so? No fucking way. I couldn’t.
**Although, this generalized a lot, if you’re a teenager and know & love yourself, I’m really happy for you.
The whole doubt & insecurity thing
Am I going to make enough money? How will I be able to pay for bills, put money in my REER, and travel to see the world? Am I going to be happy? Am I going to love it? Am I going to accomplish my dreams? Will my parents be proud of me? Will I be bored after a few years? Will life still be exciting?
In economy classes, this stressed the shit out of me. Not knowing what I’d do and learning how much I’d have to pay for. I hated economy classes, that’s something I thank Covid for because I didn’t have to take these Finals.
‘’You MUST do something you love, but’’
‘’You MUST do something you love…but it can’t be something that comes with big risks’’
‘’You MUST do something you love… but it has to pay good’’
‘’You MUST do something you love…but a sure 40 hour work is safer’’
‘’You MUST do something you love…but’’
It’s crazy how what you should LOVE doing is something that must be within the world’s ‘’normal’’. Out of the ordinary is risky and so maybe he made it but you won’t. That’s basically it.
Moving on, growing, outgrowing & choosing differently
I don’t think we talk enough about the people that change careers in their 30s. When you’ve made your way with the job you had and now you need a complete 360 change. That’s a possibility, however that’s a hell of a job. I mean you’ll probably need to go back to school, start from the bottom again and may not win the same salary as before. So fucking scary yet I think that’s something that’ll be more common in the next decades. Dunno why.
People outgrow some places and sometimes just changing the workplace helps, but other times, it’s changing the whole work field that makes it better. Then you live new experiences, learn new things and have a chance to fail again in order to win again.
A land of opportunities
Seeing it that way definitely helped me. If you fail, you start again, if you hate something, you try something new. You explore and you learn what you like and what you don’t. You choose paths and the plan changes, you learn and it sticks to your brain for ever. It gets confusing but then it gets clearer than it ever was. Truth is, it’s not A choice, it’s multiple choices taken by the person you’re becoming and the judgment that’s being forged since day 1. It’s never been about what you needed to do for the rest of your life ASAP, it was always about learning life, getting through it, getting run over by it, loving and hating, and in the end, becoming who you’re meant to become. This IS the land of opportunities.
Mwah
