Live freely from other’s thoughts and have your own
This stupid circle. The caring what they think circle. Thinking is the easiest thing for a human, because we do it every minute of our day, some people more than other but in the end, if there’s something we all have in common on earth is that we all think. Whether it’s too much or not enough we still all do it, every second of every minute of everyday. It’s okay we all have thoughts and they are all private until you speak them or show them, but until this very moment, these thoughts are yours and are not anybody’s business.
I’ve had really bad issues with the mind of others, I still do to this day. It is paralyzing. Literally. We’re all going to be judged one day or another because it’s a thought and we all have them. We’ve also all judged someone at least once and we’ll probably do it again maybe even subconsciously because thinking can bring us many places including judgement. However, we should not be paralyzed by the thought of others. Here are some ways to slowly start not giving a single fat fuck (in other words, stop caring) to these thoughts. Let me tell you, it won’t happen within a week, it’ll take hard work and efforts but I’m sure you can do it.
Here are my advices :
- People’s thoughts aren’t your business even if they’re about you.
No they aren’t. If they decide to think of you in a bad way or whatever way that can make you feel bad than it ain’t your fucking business. They can think whatever they want it’s their own piece of mind. But remember, if they keep judging you a lot, it can be jealousy, a lack of confidence or they’re just really fucking pathetic. Whatever it is, shift your perception to the fact that it’s none of your business what they think.
- Live the moment
You’re living this exact moment for only a split second, you’re living your life once, don’t waste it. You won’t ever get another chance to live this exact moment, so enjoy it while you can.
For example, if you’re in the gym and feel like everybody’s looking at you because you just started and don’t have your dream shape yet well shit, proceed with your workout. Maybe they are judging, but are they really worth your waste of thought? Do you prefer concentrating on your workout and making those physical changes happen for real or just keep thinking about what they could OR COULD NOT be thinking? Enjoy the fucking moment. You have it once, it won’t come again, and you’re the one enjoying it, not this other individual.
- Focus
You can’t write an A+ dissertation while watching Netflix. Your mind can only be so productive on many things. You won’t get where you want if your focus is what people may or may not be thinking. If you want to start your own business but you’re scared what people around you may think, then you’re not a 100% focus and confident in your project, and if you’re not 100% focus and confident in it, it may not get the success you aspire it to have. You’re wasting your time thinking about what’s on other people’s minds. This exact minute where you think « maybe they think I just look stupid and I’m humiliating myself », please remember how you could’ve thought instead « ok I can do this to get to this point and oh another nice idea here! ».
If we put you on your life road, you’ll see that the times you’re thinking about other people’s mind are the times when you go on slower than ever. You’re literally giving them your minute. Keep the focus and redirect your thoughts. Also, if you’re scared people will think you’re a loser, remember that losers are the ones that never try anything.
- Make decisions for YOU
When you shift to that mindset, you will feel so much better and so much more confident in yourself. Remember that you’re doing whatever thing for YOU and that will make YOU happy and bring YOU somewhere. I’m not saying be selfish, I’m saying stop wanting to people please because you’re scared of what they think.
- Be your real self & surround yourself good
Remember that we’re all different, it takes all kind of people to make a world and this is just the reasonable explanation why we can’t fit with everybody. So, if you’re doing something that’s annoying to another I mean ok but it might be the most brilliant thing in the eyes of another individual. You can’t fit with every souls or personalities so let it be like this. Maybe you’ll judge what they’re doing too, but in the end, you’ll simply understand that you’re not compatible in any way with certain persons and it’s okay it doesn’t mean you’re not great, or don’t have a nice personality, it only means that you’ll glow with other humans. And the ones judging you, are not your kind.
One thing that made me rethink myself a lot is this: I always thought that if I did not fit enough with x group of people, then I wasn’t « in », I would only be a boring individual and how could people like me when I don’t make them laugh that much or if I’m not as outgoing as them, etc. Until I really started working on myself and arrived to the point where I didn’t want to think about their opinion. I decided I didn’t want them to draw me/a description of me, I wanted me to draw myself and then nobody could see me any different. I met people that got my humor and laughed to the crying point at my jokes, who put me as high as them, who saw me for who I really am. If I realise I don’t fit somewhere or with X group of people, then it’s okay but it’s just not my place. I won’t force it because I don’t need it. I need myself and the people that love me because they know who I am because I drew and still draw myself and they see it.
- Develop your self-confidence
Kind of goes with the previous point, but slightly different.
When other’s thoughts consume you, it’s time to build yourself back up. Consider this your new project. Focus on who you are and who you want to become, what you like and dislike about yourself, what you have a hard time accepting about yourself and what you are proud of yourself for. Who the real you is and show it to the world under your best light. It’s a long way, and it may seem impossible at times, but it is. Fuck what they think, I mean are you living for them?
Also, if you judge yourself before someone else’s does, please think, if Rihanna would do what you’re about to do would most people judge her? Probably fucking not because she’s an icon and she has self confidence. If that’s the answer, it means it’s really time to build your own confidence.
Caring what people think all day everyday will eventually sicken your mental health, so start taking care of it RIGHT NOW. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll feel much better about yourself and your life.
You probably understand that not caring is a perception kind of thing. It’s all in your mental growth and who you want to become. Thinking about other people’s thoughts is just not helping you grow or helping you be a better person. It brings you down. The stress about the society is a big ass weight on your shoulders and YOU put it there, so YOU have the power to take it off and let me tell you how high you’ll fly once it’s off. Let other people’s mind be theirs, let them be the pathetic humans judging you for whatever unreasonable reason, be yourself and enjoy the moment. Some people will recognise your worth without you needing to prove it. Let the Universe do its thing and let go.
Your confidence and peace of mind will only grow bigger by the minute if you do this. I know it won’t be easy but don’t worry I too still struggle with this sometimes; it takes time and hard work.
You’re going to make it gorgeous.
Mwah.
