People all around the world suffer from heartbreak everyday, it’s painful and hard for each one of them. Although, for the ones who spent multiple Christmases with a specific person who’s not in their lives anymore, may have a harder time around December same goes to everybody who did not get over this special someone. How do you get through it though? It’s not easy to not do the traditions with them anymore, so what can you do to feel better? Let me give you my advices.
How will you make your way through Christmas alone?
- Are you really alone?
First off, you’re probably not alone in your life, I’m sure there’s at least one person you can count on and feel better with. You are lonely only if you let yourself be that way, if there are people around you, spend time with them and make the best out of it, change your ideas and enjoy being with some other people. People you love.
- Make new traditions
It’s not because it has been that certain way for years that it can never be changed. Sometimes, we need to let behind what’s not good for us anymore, let behind who we were to give space for who we’re becoming and the experiences that are coming for us. You don’t have to copy paste each year, they can be different because change is healthy. Let new memories be made, new traditions be built and new love flow in. You can always keep some traditions but just doing them with another person, someone close to you will make it a bit different even though the activity is the same.
- Accept & let go
Accept that this person isn’t there anymore, it was meant to be for a while, but not forever and that’s completely okay. It’s okay that it makes you feel sad, but you don’t have to be sad the whole time, feel it but let it go. Let them be somewhere on this planet and do their own thing, let them do the traditions with someone else, just. let. them. I know, easier said than done, but it will take off a big weight of your shoulders.
Letting someone go never is easy, and you should get through the breakup at your pace, if they’re not there anymore there’s a reason for it. Just remember that it’s not because something good (or not) left that you’ll never get another good thing in your life. Let it be gone.
- Feel the love around you
I know that sometimes when you look around and see couples everywhere it may stung your heart a little bit, but try shifting your perception. Try looking at it this way: love is what makes the world, the world. It’s literally the foundation for everything, you love a career path and you follow it, you love creating and you create, you love doing X hobby and you do it, you love someone and you tell them, you love someone and you make time for them, you have so much love to give, you give life to another human being, you love a certain food and you eat it, you love yourself and you can conquer the world, etc. Love is hope and love is hard. As much as it can be beautiful, it can be the worst feeling on earth but it only means one thing; you’re able to feel. You’re human.
Even though your person isn’t there anymore, it doesn’t mean it was the only person/thing you ever loved. If you see a couple, see it as hope, as a reminder that you will find love again and not as a reminder that you lost one.
Also, always remember that if it’s meant to be, it will be.
- Romance isn’t the only important thing in your life
Oh those Christmas dinners where they ask you if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend. Why so much intrusion anyways? As I see it, people only have three subjects when they don’t know what to talk to you about:
- School
- Love
- Work
You can’t blame them though, they only want to do the conversation and just have no other ideas what to ask you.
If you did go through a breakup lately just say this;
It’s okay, I loved this person very much but we weren’t meant to spend our lives together, however this is a subject I don’t really want to get into.
Or you can always say this:
I’m focusing on other important things right now and it makes me feel a bit better, loving myself is also an important thing I realised in the last few weeks.
In the end you say what you want, those are just ideas but if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. It’s not because you haven’t seen them in years that you HAVE to. Anyways, hang in there, it’s just a few dinners then you’re free of these conversations for another year and who knows, maybe next year you’ll walk into Christmas dinner with someone holding you hand…
- Treat yourself
You always should, but now you have a much bigger reason to prioritize it. If you don’t have a special someone to be there for you and buy you gifts, then be there for yourself and buy your own gifts. You’ll get exactly what you want and it’s a boss move if you ask me. Taking care of you means loving you but it also means putting efforts every week for yourself as much as you would your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Again, if you ask me, you fucking deserve a gift from you to you, and it’s a pure fucking bliss buying your own gift, wrapping it (if you really want to) and unwrapping it on Christmas dinner, or right the fuck now, I mean who cares?
If you say ‘’Oh but it’s too expensive I don’t want to spend that much money’’, I’m sorry, would you have bought an equally expensive item to your other half? What reason would you have given then?
- He/she deserves it
- I love him/her
- It’s Christmas, it’s once a year
- I don’t have to give a reason to buy them anything
If it’s either one of these, you should know that they apply to you too.
You deserve it, especially after all you’ve been through.
You better fucking start loving yourself if you don’t and if you do, then you love you.
Christmas really is once a year whether your single or not (exception goes to people who actively do campers Christmas in July).
You’re right, you don’t need a reason to buy them anything, but you also don’t need one for yourself.
- Do the things you love & mentally need
Including crying, breaking things when you lose your shit (starting with the old ugly Christmas ornement your aunt gave you 7 years ago OR the one your ex gave you that makes you think of them everytime you see it).
Give. Christmas really is about giving, making amends, and you might need it to start feeling better. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them, don’t let them hold you back. Make amends and reconcile with people you can (if it’s too fresh I understand if maybe it’s not the right time to do it), by doing that, you’re giving peace to the world and to yourself. Also, giving to others will make you feel better and there’s never enough giving in this time of year. Go volunteer somewhere they need whether it’s for Christmas or not, they’re looking for people to freely wrap present everywhere, or just buying gifts for people that don’t necessarily have the money to do so will make their day better and that will be because of you.
- Take a trip
If you really don’t want to have to do the whole Christmas thing, book a plane ticket and leave. Alone. It’s a pretty amazing experience and it will make you far away from everything you don’t necessarily want to face right now. Also, you would discover a new place you might really like and get to live experiences that may change your life forever (in a positive way), you might arrive somewhere and get to know the real you and have this big bright idea of what you want to be doing for the next year, or you might realise this is the place you feel most at home and want to move there, or you might meet some people that will become an important part of your life, you never know what life will bring you.
I know it’s not easy to be alone on Christmas, but it doesn’t have to only be a miserable version of you, you can make it better. Remember how it can be nice and appreciate the little things around you that happen only once in 52 weeks. It is truly a beautiful Holiday and I really hope you will not only feel sadness & anger through this whole time because it is not the best way to remember a Christmas.
Don’t rush or pressure yourself to feel happy, but be in the present moment and be grateful for everyone and everything you have despite this person not being there anymore. Also, champagne and wine probably are within your reach, don’t hesitate to grab them if they can make the evening easier LOL.
Happy Holidays,
Huge mwahs.
