When you’re a child or a teenager, friendships mostly come from school, sport, or family’s friends you’ve known your whole life. When you’re out in the working world, making friends is not as easy. Well, if you were really fucking shy or the biggest introvert ever back in High School, maybe it wasn’t easy back then either. You meet people in College too, but some of us don’t meet so much for many reasons. Anyways, what about making new friends in your twenties?? How can you do it?
Making real friends that are going to stick and stay is not as easy as we think it is. People can be so fucking fake it’s crazy, they seem really genuine and then after 3 years of friendship you realise they weren’t honest with you. It’s ok though, we’re not always meant to stay friends. But how do you find real friendships? Where? I wouldn’t say there’s a precise place, but there are some advices that I can give you, advices I learned and still am learning.
- Go out of your way – let go of the comfort zone
If you really want to meet new people, you MUST get the fuck out of your comfort zone. You’ll meet by staying in it too, but sometimes you meet the most special people by putting yourself out there. Sometimes, those are the ones that really fucking stick.
- Open-minded
Remember, opposites attract.
Since around three years ago, I always thought a best friend was someone that is similar to you because they get you completely and there are less misunderstandings, I was wrong. I mean, you can definitely have a bestie who’s similar to you, but having a best friend that’s your opposite is also possible. If the friendship is healthy, it can work. More than work. They can complete you in some way or give you different point of views or even get you out of your comfort zone.
What I’m saying is, don’t be closed to only meeting people that think the same way you do, be open to meet people that bring another type of color in your life, that bring you outputs that you wouldn’t have seen by yourself. Open yourself to new people.
- Literally go out
The people that are in my life, I’ve mostly met at school or because we had mutual friends/acquaintances, but some of them I’ve met simply by stepping out of my house. I met incredible people at the gym, at Starbucks or while shopping. I’m not saying all of those are still in my life or were even ever my REAL friends, but I’ve had the chance to meet them because I was out of my house. In the end, there’s no specific ”where”, of course you spend more time with people at school and you get to strengthen the friendship, but you still meet by being out somewhere, sometime.
- Be authentic
If you want people to stick, you have to show them who you really are, that’s a whole other process with yourself but you can’t build a friendship by trying to people please because they won’t know the real you. Besides, don’t you want a best friend that really knows you and actually decides to keep you in their life?
- Make the first move
I know. It’s harder for some people.
No but seriously, just tell people what you think, if you find this person pretty, or think they have a nice outfit, fucking tell them. What’s the worst that can happen? They think you’re weird and 1. If they think you’re weird for giving them a compliment, then you know that’s not the kind of friend you want around and 2. It’s not your business what they think anyways. Let it go.
Besides, when have we restrained making a first move to only dating?? I’d LOVE for a girl to ask my number or Instagram because she wants to be friends like what??? It is so nice, yet so rare. Why did we start thinking making a first move is for a crush? Like make a first move on me to become my friend that is BOLD and I want you in my life right now. I just love the kind of people that give you a compliment or is almost like a friend when you don’t even know them, like hell yeah get in my circle you’re absolutely welcome.
Few years ago I learned that I’m the biggest introvert I know. I thought it was a really bad thing but truth is, I just like my peace and I enjoy time by myself. Ok real truth is, I’M SO SHY. Like one time, I asked someone’s opinion on a subject I was writing about in Starbucks and it made me so anxious LOL. My hands were sweaty & my heart was pounding like what the hell, I just get so shy and for what reason?? I can’t tell 😂. Anyways I ended up having a great conversation with her, but why did it feel like I was about to give a fucking speech in front of 496 people, when in reality I’m always just trying to tell you I like your rings like 😂.
Anyways, I’ve seen a lot of people say the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. I think it’s because we become adults and really involved in our own lives and/or our own family. Thing is, keeping friendships steady and healthy is something people abandon quickly. You don’t need a thousand friends, but I definitely think you need a few of them to go through life. Also, you change, you grow every year, meeting new people or one new person can make you grow even more and they may align more with who you’ve become than other people you can’t let go of. Time is a high value in many aspects, but in friendships, it is not. In friendships, time creates the factor of memory attachment, when truly who is most important is the one showing up continuously, who makes time for you, who puts in the same effort you do in the friendship. Who is here now matters more than who has been in the picture the longest. What about it though? You choose whether or not you want new friends, but if you do, get out there and look.
Mwah.
