Today, it is so easy to have access to mostly everything as fast as possible. I mean, we’re ordering off Amazon and receive our packages the day after, we’re going 130 on the highway, we buy as much new machines as we can so our life is made easier. Easier here = faster. We’re impatient, we want things done and we want them now because we can. I have always been an impatient person, yes I do want things done fast but it’s also about people. If I have to repeat myself more than two times, you will not be receiving the information because I will be giving up, and that’s a small example. Impatience is like an onion in the center of fruits though, it’s rotting the others around just to end up rotting itself. So, here are three reasons we are impatient & 6 of my advices to be more patient.
Why are we impatient?
- We’re showed we can
Like I said, we’re impatient mostly because we can. We’re showed that there’s always a way to make everything faster, therefore we want it faster. Why do you think I’m pissed off when my fucking wifi keeps being on/off while I’m trying to watch my show?? Because I experienced fast wifi somewhere else that wasn’t bugging or slowing down.
So many new technologies every year and only to make our lives easier, but is it though? Or are we just pressed to go through life?
- Anger issues
I hate to break it to you, but some people do struggle with anger issues and unless they really have the will to change it, they won’t. What they don’t realize though, is that anger rarely brings joy.
We may have struggled with traumas in the past which makes us react fast & push the gas pedal to the max ASAP. However, this will only break your car. Reacting right now with so much frustration will keep you from seeing the whole thing, every side of the medal & is actually fucking unbearable for the people around you.
- Anxious, ADHD, etc.
Living with two people diagnosed with ADHD, & two with Anxiety (including me) I learned very fast about impatience LOL. We’re just not calm, and we need immediate solutions, we need to know RIGHT NOW because it’s our way of calming whatever feeling we’re struggling with at the moment. Both really are different of course, but to me the principle stays the same; we’re on the move constantly and if not managed correctly, we need what we (think) we need asap.
My personal advice on how to be more patient
- Change your perception; it’s not a fucking race
Life itself is not a race. It’s ok if the plan isn’t going the way you wanted it to go, it’s ok if you had to take more time to do X thing today, it’s ok if your toast burnt this morning (Burnt toast theory hehe), etc. Switch your perception from getting angry because X thing hasn’t been done yet to ‘’It wasn’t done because it can be done later and if it can’t, it’s not the end of the world’’. You’re wasting so much more time by feeling this impatient and letting it make you angry rather than just being enjoying.
- Be present in the moment
Obviously.
Something I do struggle with is, I have to do everything or as much as possible so my brain can feel a bit more at peace. Truth is, when I do manage to do every little task on the list, I end up putting more and then I’m not able to do it all. That’s the reality.
By being impatient and wanting it all now, right now & at the moment, you let go of the present moment and what surrounds you. I’ve found myself real mad because my package had a lot of delay and was kept at customs a few weeks ago. Then I started to let it go a little more because I wasn’t going to die if I didn’t get it in time, and that’s when I received it.
Being more present means being grateful for what you have right now and not saying ‘’I’ll be happy when…’’ cause that’s bullshit, learn to be happy now while you’re in whatever you’re in.
- Let go & enjoy what’s here
Kind looks like point 2, but here I mean, sit back and enjoy.
Let’s say you’re impatient about an event that’s coming in four months, or a trip, and you’re counting down the days, it’s the only thing that brings you joy and you think you’ll feel better only when this day comes. I’ll be honest, you may not. Sometimes, whatever place you go, if the inside isn’t healing & being taken care of, it’ll stay with you wherever. Sometimes the setting is what needs to be changed but not all the time. Wouldn’t you rather enjoy each day and end up being like woah those four months really went by fast and now I’m going on this amazing trip! Rather than feeling like the trip is your savior and then when it’s done you go back to where you didn’t feel good, but the difference is, you do not have a savior anymore or something to look forward to because it just ended.
Look forward to life itself and if it helps, journal everyday, try to find random things that make you happy or that you’re grateful for around you, etc.
Something great is coming, yes, but what’s greater is you waking up this morning, because not everybody has that chance. What’s greater is you being able to do what you’re going to do today.
- SLOW THE.FUCK.DOWN.
By going super fast you’ll miss out on everything that’s happening around you. You’ll miss out on amazing opportunities to shut the fuck up or experiences that could’ve made your day better.
Ok there’s traffic and it fucking sucks, but you can listen to your music uh? You can listen to a podcast or the radio uh? You can call a loved one (legal driving call please) and tell them you miss them. You can look around you and name 5 things you appreciate. Again, it’s not a race.
- Accept that nobody’s perfect
Even though some people may strike you as absurd or stupid, accept the fact that they aren’t you because if we were all you, the world would be fucking boring. Ok they may take every ounce of patience you’ve ever had but going off on them will not bring YOU joy nor will it them.
Let them be stupid in their own stupid world.
Also, maybe on your point of view they’re wasting your time but if you open up your perception a little bit and try seeing the whole forest instead of one single tree, you may understand where they come from.
- Breath
I used to be very very impatient with people, like, very. Until one day I realized how it was making ME feel like shit. I then decided to change that and what I did is everytime someone tried one of my few patience nerves, I just sat back and took a deep breath. Yes I wanted to complain, yes I wanted to be arrogant, yes I wanted to shut them out immediately. Was it going to bring me happiness? Fuck no LOL. The worst is, when you’re impatient with someone, their day isn’t ruined, they continue to live and feel the way they felt before this happened. You on the other hand, are putting another layer of reason to be angry.
Just take a step back, think how this situation affects you and how you would like the best version of you to react, then react that way. Of course, if it’s a pattern it’ll take time and effort but you can make it.
Patience is required to feel the present moment and to be happy. Obviously there will always be situations in which you’ll lose your cool and that’s completely ok, it happens. Impatience is a feeling that needs to be felt but that should be managed if you want to feel better about your life and the way you live it. Or also if you’re making people’s lives around you unpleasant. Try to calm the fuck down and let things happen at the pace they have to. Let people do their own shit without it ruining your entire day. It’s a work in progress but aren’t we all? Take the time to work on this because you can and also because like I said, it’s not a race.
Mwah.
