We live in a world where we search for companionship all the time, sometimes we find it, sometimes we don’t. I started reading a book not long ago about rejection (The courage to be rejected by Ishiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga) and embracing it. It’s tough, I struggle with this a whole fucking lot, being rejected has always been an embarrassment for me when it shouldn’t be. Anyways, it opened my eyes and one thing I remember is that interpersonal relations are the root of every problems. Go read the book to understand that part, but my point is, we’re humans, of course we look for companionship all around us and feel loneliness. What I’d like to talk about today is how self-respect is so much more important than to just ‘’be with someone’’ or have a fragment of a person just to not be alone.
Who you are & what you deserve
I think we should have a class about this in High School, but like, a cool class that lets you understand who you are, who you want to become and how worthy you are. I mean that’s when we start sculpting who we’ll become and most of us has (or had) a hard fucking time doing so in the teenage years. That’s normal, we don’t all have the same environments, we don’t all come from the same place, we are not raised with the same values, hell we’re not raised the same way at all, but in the end, it’s our journey and we should fucking embrace who we are.
What you deserve, you set. Don’t ever fucking place your worth on someone’s opinion. Are they going to be in the grave with you? I think the fuck not and if they are, then someone at the cemetery is about to lose their job LOL.
You decide your own worth, and it’s not an easy on/off decision. Your view of your worth won’t change in 2 hours 37 minutes, BUT, the decision to view yourself higher is made everyday. Fake it till you make it.
Trust who you are, you’re made that way for a reason and some people in the world are looking for someone like you to be in their lives. You just don’t know it. Cause you can’t know everything can ya? Also, you got yourself this far, why couldn’t you go further?
The difference between pushing aside self-respect & forgiving someone
My mom told me once, ‘’Trust is hard to gain, but is so easy to lose’’, I think it goes the same for respect. The tiny difference is, when you truly lose respect for someone, you rarely ever find it back. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if someone doesn’t respect you today, I don’t think they ever completely will.
Not a single person on this earth is worth your self-respect. The people that are worth being in your life won’t put you on the personal ultimatum to decide between them & self-respect. They just won’t.
There’s a fine line I would say though.
You should know within you when someone disrespects you and you’re willing to forgive them just to not be alone. Truth is, if someone acts like shit with you, deep down you probably don’t respect them in return, you may even be disgusted by them, but you’re not focused on this; you just haven’t given it any thoughts. Really think about this, if your best friend told you about a guy that keeps on disrespecting her and you hate his guts because of it, he disgusts you and all, why the fuck would you let it happen to you? Well actually let me rephrase that, things DO happen, but why would you keep being interested in this? Something deeper is going on because out of the situation you’d be the first to say how ridiculous it is to let them do what they do.
Forgiving someone who disrespected you isn’t bad at all. But you need to give it time. Saying you forgive them just to keep them in your life isn’t forgiving, that’s when you’re not respecting yourself. Forgiving someone after you’ve had the time to think and heal about the situation is healthy. Don’t forget that forgiving doesn’t mean welcoming back into your life that X person. In some cases, it can be if the person makes efforts and gives you the respect you deserve. However, it can very much only mean letting go completely of what happened. Closing the book and moving forward. Letting that energy stay in the past.
Fuck the bitch that was a bitch to you
Let’s talk about those fucking people who think they rule the absolute world. Sometimes I just wanna smack them down but then I remember they’re so high up their own ass they wouldn’t even notice it. You know how I said we should have a class in High School about self-worth? Didn’t apply to them, they should qualify for like an empathy class or something. THEY DO BRING SOMETHING TO THE WORLD THOUGH. Obviously not peace, but whatever. They bring resilience, they make other people become better and go through some wars only to get out stronger and wiser. The up-right is that if one isn’t willing to own up to their mistakes, become a better person, learn & grow, then one is staying an ugly person inside forever. One will probably realise it someday, but one may also never realise it and stay in its own stupidity. You just have to let them be whoever they want to be, without you in their life or with specific boundaries if it’s not possible to completely cut them off.
If you can’t realise how your own peace will always bring you more happiness than whoever you’re forcing to stay, then you should really focus on you. Love does make you blind, but you should never close your eyes on your own respect. Inner respect brings inner peace & then attracts the most gorgeous things/persons in your life. Set them free, by acting this way with you, they were never meant to be around you. Like I said last week, set them free & you’ll set yourself free, even if it’s the hardest thing you have to do, you’ve got the strength & I know you can do it.
Mwah.
