Season 4 episode 16 of Late but pretty
If there were a serie on my life that’s what I would call it. Late but pretty
They say every person we meet brings us a lesson, every person we have in our lives brought some kind of output or difference and made us change even if it’s just a little bit. I am a fine believer that everything happens for a reason, but what a fucking bummer is it when you might never know the reason? When things just happen and you simply live it with no afterwards? I mean there kind of always is an afterwards which is when you grow/learn, but is the why always known to us?
A few days ago, I dreamt about people from my past and there wasn’t even one person that was in my present life. I saw my ex-best friend and we actually became friends again in the dream, but I also saw my ex-boyfriend whom I just felt happy to see but it was like some kind of mirage, I just looked at him and realised I had missed his smile. Then I saw a friend I once had and she was stressed the fuck out, then my other ex-best friend tried contacting me – look there were so many people in one dream I can’t even comprehend it LOL. I woke up wondering what it meant? Does it actually mean something? Is it my subconscious trying to tell me how some lessons from the past are important right now? Is it because I miss those people? Is it that I haven’t moved on from them? How come we forget so many things in life yet remember people we once knew, for ever?
Inner-child or inner-teen?
I really thought we only had an inner-child that needed to heal but my therapist told me this week that we do have an inner-teen and its emotions are more developed than the child. Then I thought, how do we heal our inner-teen? A few days later I was seeing past people in my dream and wondering where the fuck I was 😂. I understood that my inner-teen was like unlocked, kind of seen for once and that I may have some things that have never completely healed from that time.
I also listened to a podcast I think a month ago and it was a girl that had lived some really hard trauma when she was a little girl and had kind of ‘’forgotten’’ about it. One day she dreamt of seeing a little girl and when she touched her on the shoulder, the little girl started crying ; that’s when she woke up. It was her, she was the child. After making some research and talking to people she got told that this usually happens when your inner-child has unresolved trauma and that she was ready to face it and start the healing process. Which she did. She healed her inner-child. I’m still wondering though, as we cannot go in the past physically, how can we mentally go back and solve it? What I was really wondering was, how do we know which needs our attention? Child or teen?
Personally, I think our inner-child got used to some things and grew up thinking they were normal because we have no knowledge about life at this young age, what’s healthy, what’s not, what’s right and what’s wrong, etc. However, our inner-teen feels deeply, they start looking for answer that weren’t needed at child phase because we weren’t catching everything that happened as much as we did as a teen. I think our inner-teen starts seeing the world out there on their own and that’s when they realise or are curious about what could be realised. They’re hurt by the events more than the environment because they got used to X environment.
How do you heal them?
There cannot be a recipe for healing.
There are multiple different ingredients though. Pick the ones that are going to help you and maybe it’ll taste fucking disgusting but the more you try again, the more you’ll get to a ‘’chef’s kiss’’ result.
In my case, I think my inner-teen needs to believe in her, needs to love herself and realise her dreams. She’s so angry though. Teenagers are usually so thrown by their emotions, I mean do we really know life? We learned the basics as a child but when we’re teenagers that’s when we learn about the right and wrongs emotionally. Maybe that’s how we heal them, by getting in touch with their emotions and giving them belief on what they can accomplish, what they want to do or not do.
Everything does happen for a reason
May the reason arise sooner or later LOL. No but for real, you know when you’re watching a TV show or a movie and you see all sides of a story and you’re like ‘’OMG that’s why this happened!!’’ or ‘’WOW I understand why it happened the way it did’’ when the main character doesn’t even know what happened and just lives in wonder. Imagine we have our own TV show (I’m sure we do actually) you’re on season 4 (let’s say it starts when you’re 16-17) and you still have no fucking clue why this little something happened the way it did back in season 3 but the watchers know exactly why it did. It’s actually frustrating, let me know the plot please.
Now it’s like people in my dream just were old characters that made a little appearance. I love seeing it that way, knowing that Universe or God if you prefer know what the fuck they’re doing, you just don’t see it all. How boring would it be if we knew everything that was going on?? There wouldn’t be any place for surprises.
In the end everyone will leave a piece of them with you whether you remember it or not, you live and by living you learn, by learning you feel and by feeling you grow.
Healing your inner-child, inner-teen and present self means a lot of work but also a lot of connecting with you, you have to become able to read yourself more than anybody else can. Spot your patterns, identify your different emotions and let them be or change them. Growing and becoming a new person is what will make you happy in this world. Listen to you, you’ve got all the answers already. Also, don’t dismiss your inner-child/teen’s emotions, they felt it for a reason that was right in the moment, give them some recognition because they gave their best. Once you get in touch with who you were and are now, you learn to love yourself a little bit more and that’s greater than chocolate fondue, better than melty cheese sticks and better than tiramisu. Ok, so I had an allergic reaction earlier and didn’t eat lunch because of it but now I’m starving. I’ll get going to the kitchen asap.
May you give yourself what you need today GORGEOUS.
MWAH MWAH (one per cheek)
